All or Nothing
by JaeSan
Summary: Part I: Rachel thinks about how she became friends with Quinn Fabray, how long she's loved her and what it will mean when she finally has to tell her...


So...the bad news...this is really sad. Seriously, I don't think there's one really happy moment in the whole thing. The good news...it's a three parter and it can only go up from here :) Just thought I'd warn everybody going in, that way you don't hate me at the end. It's all done, so more in a couple days if anyone wants it, otherwise it can be a really sad oneshot...Let me know, it's always great to hear what you guys think. Thanks for taking a look.

I don't own Glee, or any Glee characters :( OH! or the song that the title comes from...

Also, to any interested parties, I am still working on Maybe This Time, but this started nagging at me while I was working on it and I had to take a break from it...and I bought Alice: Madness returns so a big chunk of my time is being dedicated to beating it, sorry for the delay, but with this done and Alice coming to an end soon (I'm on Chapter Five, I think) I'll get right back to it in a couple days :)

**All or Nothing**

Part I: I Feel it in my Heart, But I Don't Show It

You're seriously wondering what you ever did to deserve the pain in your chest as you watch your best friend's happy tears fall over her cheeks as she throws her arms around her newly acquired fiance's neck. The ring looks perfect on her finger as she holds it out to you, but you don't need to see it, you picked it out for her. You wish someone knew how much you wanted to be the one to give it to her...

The first time you feel it, you don't really know what it is. It's so subtle, the urge to reach over and brush Quinn's hair from her face, that you almost give in, but then the names she calls you will become existentially worse than 'Manhands' or 'Treasure Trail'. You've been thinking a lot about Quinn Fabray lately, ever since she came up to you and gave you the best compliment that anyone besides your fathers has ever given you before. You think about that conversation a lot, the sadness in her eyes and her voice as she told you that she's never getting out of Lima. You wish you could have told her then how wrong she was, but the shock of Quinn's words rendered you speechless for one of the first times in your life.

You're watching Finn when it hits you. You watch Finn a lot, trying to make your sadness go away. He's staring at Mr. Schue like he's saying the most riveting thing he's ever heard and you're trying to keep your face from showing your hurt feelings as your eyes wander to Quinn's hand placed firmly in his. Your thoughts start out innocent enough as you can still feel the strength of Finn's fingers gripped around your own, but somehow your gaze moves curiously from Finn's hand to hers and eventually settles on a cold profile.

You've always known how pretty Quinn is, you do have eyes, but you've never really looked at her before. Perhaps it's the compliment she paid you, or the fact that she's been on your mind for a while now, but you're suddenly stricken by how elegantly and tragically beautiful she is. To a casual observer it would seem that Quinn is paying just as much attention to your choir director as her boyfriend is, but suddenly you can see how numb she is. You notice a subtle twitch at the corner of her mouth and with that tiny crack in her armor, you can hear her pain.

You've forgotten all about Finn for the moment and you can't seem to rip your eyes away from Quinn's blonde locks tucked perfectly behind a cutely proportioned ear. Everything about her is pristine, from her too-fashionable-for-high-school, baby doll dress, to the way her left foot is tucked elegantly behind a well defined calf. For the first time since you moved here in the third grade, You can see how uncomfortable Quinn is in her own skin. Your heart clenches in sorrow for this girl.

You want to comfort her, exactly as you did the day she admitted that she truly believed that she was going to be a Lima Loser. You want to hold her close and whisper in her ear that she's smart and stunning, and she's not a Lima loser. You want to tell her that she's so much more than her face, that she's capable of anything. And when she leans forward and her hair falls in front of her face your fingers twitch with your need to reach over and tuck that blonde strand back behind her ear because you don't like that it's suddenly blocking your view of her angelic face.

You're startled and you look down at your hand, finally able to drop your eyes from Quinn's face. You can still imagine what her hair would feel like on your finger tips and the tingle is warming your chest as you blush and tuck your hand under your thigh. You hope no one notices the color on your face as you steel your gaze back to Mr. Schue. When you look up again, your startled by Quinn's hazel eyes fixed on you. You're aware of the heat flushing your cheeks, but you can't look away. Her eyes continue burning into yours and your confused and embarrassed as the tingle in your chest rushes to your core and you feel a flash of what you'll spend the next week denying, was arousal.

* * *

><p>You stand off to the side as soon as Quinn stops hugging you and forcing you to beam down at her finger. Santana walks over to you and hands you a drink and before you think about it you down it immediately and you hope that Santana doesn't notice that you're dying just a little bit underneath your smile...<p>

The second time you feel it, You're just as surprised and confused as the first time, and still firmly hesitant to name it. She's sitting beside you in the doctor's office and you feel a little bit ridiculous that you've asked her for this particular favor, it's disconcerting sitting, in this particular place, next to such perfection. Quinn seems delighted however and it's only when you're both sitting in the auditorium arranging your Pretty/Unpretty mash up that you realize what's actually behind her smug excitement.

She has her head ducked as you sing and only when you look a little bit closer do you realize she's trying to hide her face from you. You've been told that when you sing your emotions are impossible to hide. Finn once told you it was the reason he fell in love with you, because when you sang to him he felt like the only person In the room. Quinn's no different, but whereas you wear your emotions proudly, she's ducking her head so you can't see the quiet pain all over her face as she sings her verses.

By the time your done rehearsing you can tell that Quinn is close to tears, and though normally you're very nurturing and giving, the thought of hugging Quinn Fabray scares you to death. You sit next to her on the piano bench and take it as a positive sign when she doesn't shove you off the side. When you catch sight of a tear landing on her hand you reach over and place your hand over hers in comfort.

You can't seem to find your voice, but suddenly Quinn yanks her hand away and disappointment floods through you as you watch her go. You feel the fading heat from Quinn's hand and you're startled when she reappears in front of you a moment later. She meets your eyes and you feel like you could drown in the tiny flecks of green that float in her irises as she gazes into your brown ones. She holds your eyes forever before she speaks quietly a moment later. She tells you not to change a thing about your face. Her voice is so soft and yet it holds an intensity and sincerity you've never witnessed before. You think that if Quinn keeps giving you compliments, you might start to think that the two of you are friends. You also might have to do something about the feeling that's spreading quickly through your abdomen.

* * *

><p>Santana raises her eyebrows a little bit and hands you another drink and you down that one as quickly as the first as you try to rip your eyes away from the happiness all over Quinn and Brian's faces...<p>

The next time it happens, you know exactly what it is and there's no way to avoid it. It's prom night and you're singing to Finn, but somehow you've managed to lock eyes with Quinn and her eyes are doing something to you that you feel like you're too young to put into words. You have to close your eyes to remember the words to your song, something that's never happened to you before and when you open your eyes again you don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that she is once again hidden behind Finn's tall frame.

You follow her to the bathroom, and when you feel her hand against your cheek, you realize how much pain Quinn is in. You see the regret on her face immediately and you decide to make light of the situation. You try not to stare at her reflection as you examine the heated spot on your cheek. She looks sad, as always, but her apology is sincere. Her face is flawless even under the harsh florescent light of the school bathroom and you wish there was something you could do to ease her turmoil. She raises her hand to dab at her eyes and you smile to yourself that you were right about the flower you told Finn to get. Your cheeks burn when you picture yourself giving it to her and you hope she thinks your still upset from the slap. You drop your eyes back to the sink and she speaks for the first time since she apologized.

You know that Quinn knows she's pretty, you can see this in every step she takes and every slushy she orders thrown your way. Tonight, she admits that she knows it, she also reveals her fear of losing it. It unsettles you to see this side of her. Quinn Fabray admitting she's afraid feels much like someone just told you that Barbara Streisand lip syncs. For a moment you're frozen, speechless. You wonder for a moment at her ability to do this to you before you finally get to say all the things you've wanted to tell her for the last three weeks.

She doesn't smile at your words and you have a sudden urge to throw her against the wall and make her believe you, but the only thing you do is reach up to gently wipe her face. She's painstakingly gorgeous as she lets you touch her and your lips are burning so bad that you have to pull your bottom lip between your teeth to keep yourself from crushing them to hers. She holds your eyes for a moment and you think you see it in hers as well, but it's gone as quickly as you hoped it was there and she gently pushes your hand away from her face.

You feel awkward for a moment before you turn back to the sink to glance in the mirror one last time. Quinn does the same and thanks you before she leaves the bathroom, leaving you to stare after her in confusion once again. You turn to the sink again and you smile as you admit to your reflection that you sort of like the softness of Quinn Fabray's voice when she's being sincere. Your still a decent amount of confused when you get home, but later, when your lying in bed, you finally get to ease the throbbing between your legs that hasn't gone away since Quinn's hand folded gently over yours.

* * *

><p>Santana looks equal amounts of impressed and sympathetic as she looks over at you and your breath catches in your throat as you realize that she knows. You've always been so careful. You choke out the word 'How' right before your breath catches in your throat and you're running toward the door. You're hoping that it's Santana behind you, but you know as soon as you feel a hand on your back who it is and you struggle to compose yourself before you have to face her...<p>

You're thinking about how awesome this weekend has been as you sneak back into the hotel and your just about to turn the door knob when you hear a sound that very nearly shatters your heart into a million pieces. Quinn Fabray is sobbing for someone to love her and all you want to do is bust through the door and declare your undying love for the blonde girl who's done nothing but torture you for over half your life. You feel like there must be something wrong with you and you have a sudden urge of hate at Quinn Fabray for putting you under her spell.

You're still thinking about Quinn later when Finn takes you out on one of the most romantic dates you've ever had. You feel safe and loved under his arm and it catches you by surprise when you feel a flash of anger at him for making Quinn feel the exact opposite. When he tries to kiss you her face flashes in front of your face and you run before you feel his lips touch yours.

Finn surprises you when he kisses you on stage and you feel like you've let the entire Glee club down when you don't even place because of it. Out of all of the disappointed faces hers haunts you the most, but it's equally as gratifying when you get back to Lima and they all welcome you and Finn back to spend another year with them. Finn looks at you a little bit differently now and you almost forget about the ache that runs through your body every time you imagine running your fingers through Quinn's new haircut.

* * *

><p>You're wearing well practiced neutrality when you're finally able to straighten up and you force a smile as you tell her that you just felt a little bit sick for a moment. She looks so apprehensive that you want to laugh, but just as the sound is about to escape, you catch sight of the ring again and it comes out a little bit choked. This has never happened to you before. You've never been unable to hide your longing before, not even the first time she touched you...<p>

It's summer and you've broken up with Finn again. Turns out once you got back together he assumed you would drop your skirt for him the first time he asked. You try not to be too disgusted when you ask him why he went to all the trouble to win you back when he was just going to treat you with such disrespect. He scoffs at you and when he apologizes you can hear his impatience in his voice, which makes you believe that you'll be having this fight again.

Two weeks later he doesn't disappoint you and you tell him you never want to see him again. You decide to go for a jog and run into none other than Quinn Fabray as your rounding the corner to head back to your house. She happens to be doing the same thing you are and she looks even more beautiful now that the sun has darkened her skin a couple of shades and added some color to her cheeks. There's a thin layer of sweat glistening on her skin and your mouth goes dry because you can practically taste her on your tongue. She looks you up and down twice before her eyebrow arches and you feel the need to flee before you do something crazy. You're glad she can't see your startled surprise a moment later when she falls in stride next to you.

You run for over an hour. Quinn because she's in excellent shape and you because you have no idea how much self control you'll have if you stop and turn around to look at her again. You've felt her panting easily beside you for at least a mile now and you're pretty annoyed at what's happening to you. Quinn finally stops you after another mile and you're as surprised as she is to find that you're crying. She looks puzzled over what to do and she reaches over and pats you stiffly on the back.

You give her a small appreciative smile and the next thing you know you're having an iced coffee with Quinn Fabray. You feel a little bit small in her presence, but not as small as you do in the school halls. Quinn seems more human here than she does in school. You tell her so and she laughs. Butterflies flit through your stomach at the sound and you smile at her in return. After you've been sitting for a few minutes she finally asks you what's wrong and your face falls a little as you tell her about Finn.

Your impressed when she holds her expression even though there's something in her body language that tells you she wants to say more. You take a sip of your coffee and after the awkward silence passes Quinn simply smirks and then she's sitting across from you at your table having dinner with your fathers. You wished you had known sooner how charming and easy Quinn can be when she's not being an ice princess, You sit and watch in awe as she charms your fathers and you feel a little bit charmed yourself when she finally says goodnight.

You walk her to the door and you're both standing awkwardly on your porch when it happens. You can't explain it, but you don't want her to go. You're pretty sure that she's feeling the same way because she's sort of doing this fidgeting thing with her hands and she's stalling as she finally looks up to meet your eyes. Then Quinn thanks you. It feels completely out of the blue and you use her signature eyebrow against her before she continues. She drops her eyes and tells you that this was the best night she's had in a while and she hopes that the two of you can get together again sometime soon. Before you can think about it you're asking her what her plans are for the next day. She grins and the two of you make plans and just as you're about to turn to head back into the house, Quinn's arms have thrown themselves around you for the first time.

You don't know exactly what to do at first. You've never been afraid of physical affection, but you have, on occasion, been afraid of Quinn Fabray. A moment later your arms finally decide to move and wrap themselves around Quinn. The warmth of Quinn's body spreads through you so fast that you only barely stop yourself from burying your face in her neck. You've never had any real girl friends before and you wonder exactly how long this hug is supposed to last, but you can't force yourself to be the one who lets go. She thanks you again in your ear and then she's gone and your once again alone with the burning between your thighs.

* * *

><p>Your eyes follow the ring to her blonde hair when she tucks a strand behind her ear. She's been wearing it longer lately, like she did in high school. For the first time since you and Quinn have become friends you can taste bitterness in your mouth at her unassuming beauty. For the first time since you fell in love with her you finally feel the pain of knowing she'll never be yours...<p>

Quinn's hand feels warm and comfortable as it sits in your lap in Glee. You're surprised and pleased that the friendship the two of you formed over the summer has survived the start of school. You find it funny the amount of stares the two of you get constantly in the halls, Quinn finds it annoying, The looks she gives them do crazy things to your insides. There's something about Quinn Fabray in a Cheerios skirt, standing with a hand on her hip, staring down everyone who crosses her path that you find insanely hot.

You've become somewhat comfortable, if not frustrated, with your strange attraction to your best friend as of late. She remains oblivious and you soak up any attention she gives you. Every now and again you think fleetingly that it might not be healthy for you, but there's no way you're giving her up, even if you are just friends. Besides there are those moments when, kind of like this one, she's holding your hand or laying against you, or just looking at you, where you think fleetingly that she might feel it too.

Sometimes the things she does make it impossible for you to believe that she doesn't feel the same way about you. You have Roll call together and first period. You don't have the next two classes with her, but after third she's somehow always waiting outside the door to walk you to your shared English class. You eat lunch together, and sit together in Glee and after Cheerios starts she convinces you to watch most of the practices. You secretly love that she shoots at least one smile per practice in your direction as you sit in the bleachers doing your homework.

It's on one of these days that you realize your attraction has moved to affection, the more than friendly kind of affection. You're doing math homework and rolling your eyes as Sue Sylvester yells about riding a bull named Trixie in Mexico being hard (AN: I don't really know where this line came from. I think I thought of it myself, but at the same time, it feels familiar...). You sometimes seriously wonder how this woman still has a job. Your finding your third limit when it happens. You glance up to see Quinn concentrating hard on lacing her shoes. Her head is down and she looks so adorable and the ache that's constantly present between your thighs when you're around her suddenly jumps to your heart.

It spreads through your chest until your cheeks are flushed and it catches in your throat. She looks up to see you looking her way and gives you the most crushingly beautiful and happy smile that you have ever felt. You barely even feel yourself returning her smile, but you know you must because she gives you a little wave and skips over to where the rest of her team is stretching. Quinn Fabray has just captured your heart and she doesn't even know it. You're thinking that you have to tell her after practice. You even go so far as to make up reaction scenarios in your head. It's on the edge of your tongue when she comes out of the showers after practice, but you let it slip away as the thought hits you that one of those scenarios could be Quinn telling you that she hates you for wanting her.

* * *

><p>The concern on Quinn's face is making her even more beautiful, if that's even possible and you want to be okay for her. You want to straighten up and smile, but you have to tell her now or you never will. You have to tell her and let her go. It's time to live without a crutch. The thought of this moment being the last you'll ever speak to her weighs heavy on your chest and you have to sit down. Quinn joins you and it makes it worse as you gasp for breath. The feeling of fire in your veins whenever she touches you used to be welcome, you used to crave it. Now you feel like her hand is leaving a scar as it rests gently on your shoulder. There's been so many times over the years where your fear of losing her has kept you from admitting your feelings to her, but there's no putting it off any longer...<p>

Your drunk and Quinn's shoulder feels like heaven against the side of your cheek as you lean against her while she unlocks the door. Your head is dizzy and Quinn Is even more wonderful than she usually is. You ask her suddenly if she knows how beautiful she is. It slips out in a moment of fuzziness and you're looking at her intensely when you say it. She quirks that damn eyebrow at you and stares at you for a moment, you giggle to ease the tension and she smiles as she leads you into the apartment that the two of you share. You ask her to stay with you until you fall asleep and she looks at you funny again before she climbs in next to you. The next morning she's still there and you're plastered to her side. You snuggle closer to her for a split second before you remember calling her beautiful and after that you're never drunk around her again.

You land your first leading roll at school and Quinn takes you out to celebrate. She invites Kurt and Santana, since they're the only ones in the city and the four of you have dinner and drinks at your favorite restaurant. She dances with you and brags to Kurt that she knew you would get the part all along. It gives you a warm feeling in your stomach to know that she's proud of you and when the two of you walk home alone she holds your hand lazily in hers as if it's the most natural thing in the world. You think your life might be perfect until you turn toward her and the words almost slip out of your mouth. A month later when she waits backstage with flowers after your opening night you do let it slip, you're relieved the applause is so loud that she doesn't hear you.

Quinn gets her very first college boyfriend and you've never felt jealousy or hatred until you see him lean down and press his lips to hers. It lasts seven months, but as the time goes by you don't feel as threatened as you did when she came home and told you about him. On most occasions she still picks you over him and in quiet moments when she's at his place, or awkward ones when you can hear them through the walls in your apartment you think that she might be using him to scratch an itch. You're certain that you could do a better job at pleasing her and when he dumps her and she's crying silently with her head in your lap you wish you could tell her how amazing she is. You can feel the words on the tip of your tongue for the millionth time, but the thought of losing her outweighs everything else. All you can do is run your fingers through her hair and try to comfort her with bad movies and non vegan ice cream, while trying to ignore the ever present ache of affection and arousal that races through your body at her touch.

* * *

><p>Just as the words are ready to roll off of your tongue Brian walks over to check on you. Quinn assures him that everything is fine and tells him to go back to the party. You smile bitterly as you watch him go inside because honestly, if it had to be anyone but you, you're glad it's him. Unlike the others he actually loves Quinn and not just her face. Unlike the others he doesn't just tolerate you. Brian is one of the good ones...<p>

Quinn spends most of her junior year dating the douchiest frat guy that you've ever met, just the sound of his name makes you wish you had a gag reflex. It started out as innocuously as some of the others, she sees him on the weekends or on days that the two of you don't have plans. It's nothing solid and you don't feel very threatened until the day you come home and find him sitting on your couch with his arm hung loosely around Quinn's shoulders.

She pulls away as soon as you close the door behind you and you force a smile onto your face. Her hello is awkward as she stands and introduces you to him, You hate him immediately. She's nervous as you hold your hand out to take his and you think that his smile might be as fake as your own. Quinn makes dinner for the two of you and it's the best thing you've ever tasted. He sort of makes a face at it and you hate the hurt look on Quinn's face when he orders a pizza. When she breaks up with him a month later you just barely keep the relief off of your face.

Her next boyfriend hates you even more than the last one. Quinn dates him through the end of the year and into the summer and introduces the two of you at your birthday party. You spend the rest of the night ignoring her as Santana feeds you drink after drink and the next morning you actually feel guilty when you wake up half naked next to her. You're freaking out and Santana tells you to relax. She calls you a midget and assures you that nothing happened, but you were adamant that she not let you go home with Quinn. She rolls her eyes when you sigh in relief and you feel even guiltier when you sneak into your apartment.

Quinn is waiting and her eyes are red as she glares at you, looking hurt and angry from the couch. She asks where you were and you shrug your shoulders. You feel bad, but you don't really think that she has the right to ask. Her door slams and you head to your bedroom. You heave a tired sigh as you throw on one of Quinn's old Cheerios T shirts and you know you're being irrational. Quinn has no idea why you're acting the way you are. You look at your phone and notice that she tried to call you almost every hour and sent you a few text messages saying that she was worried about you.

You feel like the world's biggest jerk as you head down the hall to her bedroom and you crack the door open to hear that she's crying. Honestly, Quinn has no idea how you feel about her. It's not her fault your jealous of her stupid boyfriend and part of you knows that she doesn't deserve to be treated the way you treated her last night and this morning. It's a little bit surprising when she lets you climb in behind her and even more surprising when she let's you wrap your arms around her. You apologize for making her worry and for acting like a jerk the night before.

She turns around to face you and it's the perfect time to tell her you love her, but you're stunned by the beauty that's flowing off of her. She smiles, almost sadly and accepts your apology before she snuggles into your chest and finally gives into her exhaustion. Quinn Fabray could possibly be the only thing that matters to you in the world. The sound and feel of her breathing against you and the heat warming your chest as you hold her makes you forget about what's his name and you close your own eyes and wish you could stay this way forever. She breaks up with what's his name a week later. You try not to be thrilled.

There's a few guys here and there, some take her out and you never hear about them again and some she keeps around for a few weeks at a time, but no one you have to meet until Brian. He's different than the rest, you can tell immediately. He's quiet and beautiful in the same way Quinn is and the first time you meet him you think that they're kids will be perfect. He smiles and you can't help smiling back. You're a little taken aback by the fact that your smile is genuine even though something inside of you is screaming at you to hate him.

Weeks turn into months and you like the way he makes her smile. Sometimes when Quinn leaves the two of you alone, you even like the way he makes you smile. He makes her laugh and tolerates her need to always have you around. As the months turn into graduation you even start to like him a little bit. He's not like the others. He touches her easily instead of possessively. He includes you because he knows it makes her happy. He can make her cry. He loves her. Your throat gets tight when you start to realize that she loves him too.

You get a small part in an off Broadway production and Quinn drags him to your first show on the same night that he buys tickets for the home opener at Yankee stadium. He hates you for the first time and you only barely reign in your urge to stick your tongue out at him when he decides to leave during intermission and she decides to stay with you. Your triumph dies when you see the pain on Quinn's face as they have a quiet argument and when she comes back to your side you kiss her on the cheek and tell her goodnight.

Her eyes are puzzled as she questions you silently and you smile and tell her how much it means to you that she came. You hug her and you whisper in her, "He loves you. Go." She pulls away, a little surprised at your words and you wonder how selfishly you've loved her for all these years. She squeezes your hand and smiles and you return it genuinely because there's nothing better than making this woman happy.

Brian turns when Quinn catches up to him and as she talks his eyes meet yours. He looks at you curiously for a moment before he nods and leads his girlfriend away. Graduation gives way to years and on a sunny Saturday when your done helping him pick out an engagement ring you call Santana. You can't explain why, but you drag her out and find the first girl you can, you dance with her and buy her drinks and ignore the fact that she looks a lot on the Quinnish side. You take her home and pretend to be asleep when she sneaks out. All you can think about is Quinn and the fact that your usual ache of arousal and one sided love has turned into a quiet panic as you wonder when he's going to ask her.

* * *

><p>The two of you are alone again, like so many other times, but the air around you is thick with the words that you still haven't spoken. Eight years worth of unrequited love and pent up attraction are hovering around you and for the first time since this whole thing started you know that Quinn can feel it too. She's looking at you curiously, your shaking as you take a step forward and then your kissing her. Your mouth is gliding over hers, your tongue fighting hers as she relaxes into the kiss. You're in heaven for another few shorter than normal seconds and then Quinn is pushing you away from her and your running from the shock and anger on your best friends face.<p>

You wander around, losing track of how much time has passed since you left Quinn. You can't tell if only minutes have passed or hours, nothing makes sense to you. The next thing you're aware of is sitting across from the Gershwin, staring at it, wondering why people are still walking on the street, wondering why the moon is still bright in the sky, why the city is still rushing around you. You barely know that your still breathing. And when Kurt finds you an hour later you're painfully aware that your heart is still beating because as soon as you see him the pain of it breaking suffocates you. Your anguish is reflecting on his face as he pulls you close and you can't stop your tears from staining the front of his Prada, but he keeps you close and you're thankful that he doesn't say anything until you finally stop crying.

"How long?" He asks in a pained voice.

You're completely numb when you answer him. "Always." Your voice is hoarse and flat from your tears. Every emotion you had poured out of you with your tears. "Junior year."

"Rachel." He breaths out your name, partly in shock and partly in sympathy.

"What do I do?" He knows that you're really asking how to keep moving, how to keep breathing, how to live without her and he doesn't have an answer for you. He takes you to his place, gives you the strongest drink you've ever had, and holds you until you fall asleep. As your eyes close you wonder if you ever want to wake up...

So yeah, sadness...sorry guys. The next part picks up from the kiss and will be Quinn, let me know if you want it :)


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